Where has the Time Gone?!?!

Picture by Lori Dorman Photography

Its been MONTHS… close to a year now since I last posted on my blog. I feel horrible for neglecting it and all of the people who enjoy reading my blog.. I guess I've been using Instagram as a visual blog showing my life through video and pictures. Its just so much easier to snap a pic or quick 15sec video and write a short description.. Either way, Ive gotten the "itch" to start blogging again. My son Niko just turned 1 year old in June. I truly cannot believe how fast time has gone by and as most of you now know,  Im expecting my second child due October 16th. With so many things I want to say and share I guess Ill just start writing and see were it goes. It may be a mess of a post, but what else is new lol.

Photo by Lori Dorman Photography

Im PREGNANT AGAIN!!!

Expecting number 2

Baby Tino

I stopped breastfeeding at 5 months pp. It was a hard struggle from the beginning being that I had 4 breast augmentations (my theory); I was happy to have lasted that long let alone breastfeed at all. I enjoyed the experience and plan to breastfeed my second son Tino. Hopefully it will not be as difficult this time around.  One month after I stopped BF I got my first "monthly friend" (at 6 months pp). My god it was nice not having a period every month LOL..

How I found Out I was expecting again-

Photo by Lori Dorman Photography

Being that I had trouble getting pregnant with Niko, I never imagined I would have gotten pregnant so quickly.. One random day in Feb I noticed I was a few days late with my period. I had some pregnancy tests left over and thought it would be funny to take one  "just to see". I took the test, placed it down on my vanity, and began to brush my teeth expecting of course for it to be negative. I glanced down at the test, looked in the mirror and then glanced down again- 2 RED LINES as clear as  day. I don't even know if I spit my tooth paste out or what, but I grabbed the test, walked into the doorway and stood there facing Alki who was still laying in bed. "Alki….. Im f*cking pregnant" (said with a very serious face I might add).  He sat up with eyes as big as could be. He was in shock yet had this amazing grin on his face. "Thats amazing" he said. I walked over and as I sat on the bed I began to cry. Its not that I wasn't happy or that I didn't want to be pregnant, but  I think for the first time in my life I was in complete shock and utter surprise.  I sat and balled my eyes out feeling guilty for Niko.  What was going through my head was - Niko is only 6 months old, I hadn't spent enough time with just him. I just started feeling like myself again, I still had 20 lbs to lose to be back to my pre baby weight, I had been working out like crazy and not eating great- did I hurt the baby by wearing my corsets?!?!?!??!?! I mean a FLOOD of emotions and fear went through my head. We definitely wanted to have more children, but we thought we would begin trying at the end of this year (2014), not JANUARY!!!! I called my mom right away and told her the news, she was soooooo excited that my kids would be close in age, I could almost hear her jumping for joy.
It took me about 2 hours to get over the shock, tell my family and closest friends and realize that whats meant to be, is meant to be.  I should be so grateful I became pregnant naturally, on our own without help of Dr's this time around.

Once it actually hit me that Im pregnant again, away went all the products, cancelled all my facial appointments and nail appointments and got back into "pregnancy mode" … again.  It was just so weird because I just got back to the States from living in London for the last year on January 6th and literally only had 1 month of "normalcy" before abandoning it all again; but for good reason of course. I had to read my own blog to remember the things I had done and used etc. Its funny how you can forget certain things.
Now 7 months along I can't believe in just 2 more months we will be welcoming our new baby boy Konstantino aka Tino. Traditionally, you name your sons after their grandfathers, and in our case- Alki's first son is named after his father Andrew, and our first son together is named after my father- Nicholas but we spelt it is bit more European, Nikola. So now that this is Alki's 4th boy (LOL) and our second together we wanted a name that fit well with Niko and had an easy and cute nickname. Im a sucker for European names, as you can tell.  I love Italian names (obviously as Im Italian) and Greek as well (thank god my husband is one of the 2)!  After going through lists online and apps on my phone we decided we wanted a strong Greek name and chose Konstantino using a K instead of a C to match Nikola. In Europe Konstantino is pronounced Con-stan-Deeno , so we weren't sure at first if his nickname should be Dino or Tino, but we decided we loved Tino more and I love saying my boys names- Niko and Tino lol. <--------- dork.

So far I have gained 20lbs in 7 months. I wish I was meant to be one of those girls who stayed super skinny their entire pregnancy and was back in their "skinny" jeans in weeks after having their baby… But Im not. No matter how naturally skinny I am when Im not pregnant- these pregnancy hormones bring out my Italian genes… All ass and thighs LOL. Its not a bad thing but Im just so over the weight. Being pregnant back to back is wonderful. IM so so excited to have 2 boys close in age, and I mean close as in under a year and a half apart. They will be best friends.. Ive always said I wanted children around 2 years apart. 3 years to me seemed way too much...I got my wish alright, but I miss my body, and feeling like myself. I feel like its been 2 years since I've been "missing".  We all have a comfort zone, and a vision of where we feel we are perfect.. To me, I was perfect right before I got pregnant with Niko. At about 115lbs at 5'6 is my favorite.. Ok , I understand your body changes after a baby, and I'm sure even more so after 2 back to back, but Im determined to get back to MY comfort zone and I think Im more determined than ever to achieve my goals the second time around.

Im not done having babies yet. I Turned 29 in February  (1985 baby) and am not ready for this to be my last pregnancy. The thought of that makes me really sad and I so badly want to give my husband a little girl or 2.  We have talked about the possibility of "spinning" the sperm or doing some sort of implantation ensuring the next will be a girl. With 4 boys under his belt statistics would show his next will probably be a boy, so the discussion has definitely come up and Im completely open to it.  I think this time I would like to wait 2 years before becoming pregnant again- although I will not be going on Birth Control, we will have to be very careful this time around. We talked about twins as well. 4 seems better than 3 especially if there is going to be a gap larger than 2 years apart, and I wouldn't want one to be singled out. So we'll see in the future.

Photo by Lori Dorman Photography

A lot of people asked if I was going to try VBAC (vaginal birth after c section) this time around and the answer is No. No for several reasons but mainly because I asked my Dr who I trust very much what he thought.  He was completely open to be doing a natural birth using all kinds of birthing balls, chairs even a birthing pool… but because Niko was breech all of that went out the door. Normally you can try to deliver vaginally after having a c section, but because I was only 6 months PP that I became pregnant again,  my uterus and body did not have enough time to heal fully and I would be a great risk of rupturing during labor. Sure, I would LOVE to have my original birth plan and deliver naturally, even my dream to have a water birth, but Im not so stubborn to risk my or my baby's health god forbid something went wrong during labor. So after speaking with him he said its completely up to me, but if it was his wife- he would want her to deliver by c section… and that was enough for me.
So on Oct 16th, I will deliver via C section again in London. Ive heard the recovery the 2nd time is not as hard as the first, so Im staying optimistic as I worry how things will be with my Niko. Him wanting to hug me and hold me and for me to carry and lift him. He's my whole world… I literally tear up at the though of him being upset that "mama" can't hold him… I hope things will be fine

Photo by Lori Dorman

So now I'm currently in Greece and it is beyond HOT! With Niko I was pregnant during the winter and delivered in June, but June summers in London is really mild so it wasn't bad. Now being pregnant in the summer but in Greece where is above 100 degrees - its brutal. Its hot for me and Hot for the baby. I so badly want to take him to the beach and do all of these out door activities but its getting harder and harder for me and its getting hotter and hotter outside. End of August and Sept will be much more pleasant so Im looking forward to it.

On Instagram I have a page called "Nikosfavoriteproducts" where I post all of my favorite mommy and baby products, recipes, etc. Lately Ive been having this itch to start a new project. The swimwear line has taken a backseat this past year with both Lilly and I but we are taking this entire summer to catch up on designs and production and do a new site Launch at the end of the year! Its very exciting as designing, sewing and the line have always been my passion. But now with 2 babies Im itching to do something I believe in baby related.. I had started a company with a friend of mine where we were going to do baby blankets. That went nowhere and is just sitting there. We may do it in the future but for now Im looking to do something else. Ive been talking to a few companies about collaborating and designing a line for them of a few different things so Im really excited to see where they go.

I think for now this is it.. Please leave in comments any questions you have or ideas for my next post. Ill have a bit more time before Tino arrives to blog so Ill try my best to get in a bunch more posts.

xx
Jennifer